Have you ever argued about a sitting position in
your workplace? In an open sitting plan office, you may encounter that awkward
moment when the newbie takes your favorite spot. Lily just joined this new
company whose cultural set-up is very different from her previous employers.
She joined in a senior position and was expecting a corner office with a
personal assistant waiting on her. Her expectations were dashed when she was
introduced to the new employer’s clean desk policy - Just sit anywhere that is
free and clean up the desk when you leave!
As social beings, the incumbents had informally
marked their favourite sitting spots and they knew where everyone 'usually'
sits. Lily was not aware of this arrangement. She went by the book rules and
placed her bag on an empty spot one early morning before dashing off for a
meeting. This was a spot marked out for Henry. About half an hour later, Henry
walks into the office with this big smile on his face and makes a bee line to
his favourite spot. He is surprised to see a bag on ‘his’ table. He checks the
desk phone to see if anyone had logged into the spot. Nobody. Henry assumed his
usual sitting position, checked into the slot and dived into his day's tasks.
Lily was still getting her way around the office
and did not know so many people. She was surprised to find this strange guy
occupying her seat after her meeting. Her bag had been moved and she just
couldn't find it. What to do? By this time, Lily was getting upset because she
was expected to attend a series of meetings that morning and couldn't find her
bag! She met one of the floor administrators explaining her predicament and
sought her assistance.
Henry eventually got an awkward note from the
administrator who was now trying to arbitrate the situation. Henry knew the
silent rules - if you want to take a seat in the office you have to log into
that spot. He was justified to take up the seat even if Lily had placed her bag
there. She did not log into the spot. Rules are rules! However, Henry opted to
take a different approach. Lily is new in the office and must be overwhelmed by
the new culture and exhaustive orientation. He figured Lily must be really
angry at this whole setup and may form a negative perspective of him and the
new workplace. He had two options - to ignore Lily or to approach her and teach
her the rules.
Workplace conflicts can breed from the most
trivial issues. Why would people argue about a seat? There are many places you
can sit in the office! The issue is not the seat - the problem is what that
situation does to the office working relationship. People treat you based on
the perception they hold of you. If they perceive you as mean, they will never
let you have anything you ask for without a fight. If they perceive you the
enemy to beat, your relationship will always be competitive even when you are
in the same team.
Many of us avoid conflict at all cost. We do not
want to rub people the wrong way - at least not the first time we meet them. We
just want to keep the peace. We want to maintain a calm and likeable image. The
fact remains you will always be at a risk of getting into conflict with those
around you. You do not necessarily have to be the cause. It may be fueled by
power struggles, jealousy, competitive tensions or just someone having a really
bad day.
Conflict is not a bad thing - it's actually an
odd opportunity to forge better working relationships. As weird as it sounds,
think about it. In our story, Henry has this great chance to make Lily his ally
- a golden chance for a great start with the new team member. If Henry masters
his emotional intelligence, he will apologize to Lily for the misunderstanding,
explain the reason for his actions and offer to give up his seat to her as a
sign of good will. Lily would feel respected and in exchange subconsciously
note Henry as a friendly ally. A lifelong antagonistic relationship avoided!
The key to resolving conflict is to control our
emotions and to communicate. You need to deal with the issue promptly before it
grows into a monster, but you cannot successfully do so when your emotions are
running high. Unresolved conflict culminates into resentment, stifles
creativity, reduces productivity and hampers collaboration. Withstanding the
pressure that comes with conflicts gives us the chance to create a more
productive workforce around us. The smart leader uses these conflict situations
to borrow better ideas or use them as learning points for the team. You deny
yourself the opportunity to refine and enforce closer working relationships as
a leader every time you steer clear of uncomfortable positions.
Mahatma Gandhi said, "An eye for an eye will
only make the world blind." We do not always agree on what we should do,
but we should never lose sight of the damage we would suffer should we choose
not to find a middle ground. When making radical moves, we will most likely rub
people the wrong way - especially the incumbents whose boat you are rocking. It
doesn't mean that we write-off the non-conformers immediately. You may be
surprised that with a little selling, this resistant lot will be your greatest
crusaders.
Diamonds are made from coal. Coal has to undergo
much pressure before emerging as beautiful diamonds in their purest form and
worth millions! If you want to get the diamonds out of your workplace, you have
to withstand the sweat of conflict. Confront your disagreements and have that
difficult conversation. Communicate with clarity while keeping your emotions in
check. You may just achieve better results than you anticipated. Stick it out and keep your eye on the ball!
